Ashen Soul
by Grey Lord
Summary: When Beast Boy finds Raven about to commit suicide, what will he do? rated T for bad words, suicidal thoughts, actions. BBRae ONESHOT


Hi! ScionofKyuubi here, with my first fic! Be kind! Remember, flames will be used for roasting my neighbor's cat! (Grr…that cat is evil incarnate.)

Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans. If I did, would I be writing this?

WARNING: contains suicidal thoughts/attempt, bad language and other stuff

Pairing: BBRae, slight RobStar, and fractional CyJinx

Summary: When Beast Boy finds Raven trying to kill herself, will he be able to stop her? (Yah, I know I suck at summaries.) (Takes place 2-3 years after The End)

Ashen Soul 

Garfield Logan, aka Beast Boy, was pissed off. He'd gotten out of bed at three in the morning to go to the bathroom, and had promptly tripped all over the nuclear wasteland that was currently inhabiting his room. After achieving the exit of his room, he had stumbled into the hallway and promptly fallen flat on his back, having slipped in some sort of wet spot on the floor. He got up, swearing vehemently to whatever might be listening. He then set off on a quest to find the bathroom in the darkened Tower.

After stumbling around in the dark for nearly twenty minutes, stubbing three toes and nearly breaking his foot on some unidentified chunk of metal in the hallway, he finally achieved his destination and relieved himself. "Ahh, much better," he mumbled to the quiet hallway, before realizing that this wasn't the bathroom he normally used. He shrugged, and decided to make a snack or something. He headed for the kitchen, only to stop in the middle of the hallway_. What the hell? I could've sworn I heard something…_ he thought to himself. He shrugged again, and began to walk again…only to freeze as he heard it again.

BB's POV 

"…The hell? That sounds like crying… but I know it's not Starfire; she would have woken up the whole tower, Cy's downstairs, so I can't hear him, and there's no way in hell it's Robin, he never cries… so it could only be Raven…"

_Shit_, he thought recognizing the dilemma.

_If she isn't crying, or she doesn't want to be interrupted, and I just walk in unannounced, she'll blow me to Metropolis_, he thought.

_But if she is hurt or something…_

Beast Boy took all of half a millisecond to decide. If Raven were hurt, he'd go to the gates of hell and back again to make her better again. _Not that she cares,_ he thought sadly. She'd told him flat out two weeks ago, that although she valued him as a friend, she still refused to allow her emotions to get the better of her and had gently told him she couldn't care for him the way he did for her.

_Hmm… maybe I ought to be a bit stealthy to start_…

Beast Boy morphed into an ant and crawled under Raven door, he changed back to his human form and crouched in the shadows of Raven's room.

And stared.

Raven was sitting on the edge of her bed, dressed in her trademark leotard, but she had taken off her cloak. Beast Boy had a clear view of her profile, her silky lavender hair and shimmering amethyst eyes, silhouetted by the light of a beautiful full moon. His throat had become as dry as a desert, and he was sure all the moisture had gone to his palms. _My God, she's incredible…_

He didn't see the silver dagger in her right hand, almost missed the fact that her left was holding a picture of some sort, but he definitely heard her whispers, while dodging objects that her emotions were sending flying around the room.

"…And I'm sorry most of all, guys, that I never told all of you how much you meant to me. Cyborg, you were the big brother I never had, I know you'll be happy with Jinx. Starfire, you and Robin were the best friends I ever had, even though Boy Blunder needs to pull his head out of his ass and ask you on a date already…"

He heard a hiccuping noise that was almost a laugh, and his heart cracked as he realized that she'd been _crying_ and about them, and man, this sucked, but…

"…And then there's you, Beast Boy. You were the first one to try and be my friend. You were always cracking jokes, trying to make me laugh, and smile, and inside, I was dying, but you brought me back, but I could never show you just how much you meant to me. I love you Gar, but I'll never be able to tell you…"

Beast Boy's brain seemed to have suddenly exploded inside his skull, and he was rather certain that his heart was flying a kamikaze pattern up his throat. He was dumbly turning this sentence over in his head. _She…loves me? But… dude, I must be dreaming. Yeah, that's it. Any minute, I'm going to wake up, and Cy's going to yell that it's time for breakfast, and Raven's going to be her normal self, and…"_

Normal POV 

" …So I truly am sorry for this, but I cannot allow my father to hurt you because of my emotions. Goodbye forever, Robin, Cyborg, Starfire. Goodbye, Gar, my sweet, naïve, Beast Boy. I'll always love you… even in death."

_In death? _Gar wondered stupidly. _What is she babbling about this ti…wait a minute…_

He didn't move until he saw Raven lift a strange, silver object into the moonlight. _A knife! She's going to…_

"NO!" With that scream of denial, he launched himself at the depressed Azerathian.

Garfield Logan could be fast when he needed to be. By morphing into a cheetah, he could attain continuous land speeds of over seventy miles an hour. Robin had once clocked him at ninety-seven miles per hour when he had trained with the Boy Wonder.

Raven never even saw him move.

He tackled Raven in a flying cross-armed tackle, sending the knife flying across her darkened room and into a wall with a thump. The sorceress and the changeling skidded across the floor; Raven too shocked at his intrusion to summon her dark magic at first. However, halfway through their tumble across Raven's floor, she regained her bearings and her eyes began to glow with the eerie white luminescence that signalled her powers being used. "Azarath, Metrion, ZINTHOS!" she cried, encasing her foe in a dark light and shoving him off of her body. She jumped back and slid into a fighting stance, her hands glowing white as she prepared to defend herself against this unknown assailant. Her attacker struggled against the cosmic energies she held him with, to no avail. She pulled him into the moonlight to reveal…

"_Beast Boy_! What in the names of the nine levels of _HELL_ are you doing in my room, you… you… grass stain changeling bastard!" she shrieked, enraged at this invasion of her privacy. Her room was damn near _sacred_, and Beast Boy had the gall to just burst in here and…

_Stop you from killing yourself?_ Rage's voice sneered at her from her head. _You're weak, Raven. Kill him! After all, he's the one who burst into your room. Give in to me and let me control you. It is your destiny!_

"No…" she whispered, trying her best to ignore the voice in her head. Of all her emotions, Rage was most definitely her least favorite. And right now, if she didn't get ahold of herself, something was going to…

**BOOM!** She winced as her emotions caused some random object out in the hall to explode into a million tiny fragments. _Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos. Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos. Calm down, Raven or you're going to wreck the whole Tower. Azar knows we do not need to explain a halfway-leveled Titan's Tower to Robin._ _He's already mad at you for blowing up the cutlery drawer, the TV and the GameStation. Don't make it any worse_.

"Um, Rae? Do you mind putting me down so I can ask you just what the hell you were doing with a ten-inch dagger at three in the morning, telling a picture goodbye?" Beast Boy was still floating upside-down in the air, calmly waiting for Raven to release him so he could start knocking some sense into her.

"I was committing suicide, Beast Boy." Her voice was flat and distant, but he could hear the pain behind her words.

"Why?" He was glad she was calm, it made talking to her easier.

"Because I can't let my father use me as a portal again. If I do, I'm damning the world to its destruction. Therefore, if I'm dead, Trigon can't come to this world again. Do you understand, Gar? If I'm gone, the world is safe." It was true, theoretically. And besides, no one would miss her, except maybe Gar, but he'd forget her.

Everyone always did.

"Bullshit, Rae. Don't feed me that line of crap, 'cause I know you don't believe it. And don't even start thinking that no one here cares about you. Rae we all care, and I lo... uh, really care about you. So try a new line, cause that one's BS and you know it."

Since when was Gar psychic? "That's not what you were about to say." Raven said dully. It disturbed her how good he was at penetrating through her deception. "What were you really going to say, Gar?" She didn't really care, but it would be something to ponder in her dying moments. _Hey, it's not like he's going to declare undying love or anything_, she thought sadly.

_Shit. If I tell her that I love her, she'll think I'm just saying it to stop her from killing herself. If I don't tell her, she's going to suicide anyway. Fuck. You really screwed yourself this time, green boy._

He decided to just say it. After all, what did he stand to lose? "All right, Raven, fine. You wanna know my deep, dark secret, the only secret I've kept from Cy? Well, here it is Rae. I, Garfield Logan, love you with every fiber of my being. When I first met you, I thought for sure you had boys lined up around the block because I was certain you were some kind of fallen angel. So, I tried to make you smile. I tried to make you laugh. When you did laugh, I was sure heaven itself was smiling, because it sounded like a chorus of heavenly angels singing. It was then I realized I'd fallen for you." He paused for breath. Her expression was very odd, like a mixture of rising hope and frozen disbelief. He continued.

"I've tried so hard to make you notice me. The day we faced Adonis, and I became the Beast, it was you that brought me back. My memories of you… your smile, your smart-ass remarks, hell, even the way you'd quirk your eyebrow whenever I did something stupid…

Then there was the End. When you became the portal for Trigon, I honestly thought you were gone forever. I seriously considered just reverting into the Beast and running away forever. Without you, it was like the world had gone black, never to be lighted again with your beauty." He again paused for breath. Her expression was beginning to intensify, the hope winning out over the disbelief. He continued again.

"And finally there was the time you kissed me. I honestly could have sworn I had just died and gone to heaven. It was then that I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I loved you and only you, and that if you ever left me, I knew my heart would shatter into a million pieces. Raven I love you and I always will. If you're to kill yourself, you'll have to kill me first, because even if hell itself freezes over, I will not let you die. I love you forever." He glanced at his dark sorceress, and realized she was crying, shedding moonlit tears of long-held pain and self-hatred. He sucked in a breath. _Shit, dumbass, you made her cry. Can't you do anything right, stupid?_ "Rae, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…"

"Do you really mean all that, Gar?" she whispered.

"Yes, Rae, I do. I love you." He realized just how thin a line he was walking. One wrong word and Raven would probably blow his head off.

"Do you know how long I've waited to hear you say those words, Gar? Do you have any idea how many times I've heard you say them in my dreams, only to wake up, to realize it was just a dream?" She was inching closer to Gar, like a terrified animal seeking shelter and comfort. "How do I know this isn't a dream, Gar? How can I know that you're real?"

He would later claim temporary insanity, for what happened next. Or at least he would claim it to Cyborg. He knew he was perfectly reasonable and sane, but Cyborg was still immature about he and Raven's "relationship".

Before he could stop himself, he had pulled her into a spine-melting kiss that very nearly shattered what little control he still had on his sudden hormonal firestorm. They explored each other's mouths, stopping to draw breath, then diving anew into the oceans of sensation and seas of feeling, wondering what they had done to earn this love.

He broke apart from her, gasping for breath and thanking whatever gods were above for Raven. She was wide-eyed and breathing hard, looking in wonder at Beast Boy, and inwardly rejoicing that this was not a dream. Beast Boy loved her and she loved him. They may not have been perfect, but they were together.

Sorceress and Changeling.

Beauty and the Beast.

Love would unite them.

Forever.

_Fin._

So, what do you think of my first fanfic? Personally, I like, but then I'm biased. Meh…

(Ya, I know BB and Rae are a little OOC, and the fic is a little rushed, but it IS my first fic… be kind.)

R and R!

Ja Ne!

ScionOfKyuubi


End file.
